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Saturday, February 24, 2007
I'm behaving like so because....
There are people who says that i'm weird, i would stubbornly say that i'm special.

But i never really questioned myself why am i behaving like so.
(other then the middle child syndrome i'm suffering)

Until today.
I've started or should i say continue my routine of persuiting my dreams. And for me to do so, i MUST eliminate my weakness in the process.

I've came up with a few disorders that i might be suffering
1)abnormal narcissism- Its affecting my attachment to people and things. And according to Freud, it includes erotic attachment as well... Because of this, it has lead me to several psychotic illnesses, including depression, hypochondria, schizophrenia and megalomania. All of which i've already experienced and overcomed by myself, i hope...

Things would have been much easier for me if i've known about such condition earlier. I'll be able to solve all my problems quickly in the past if i had known why i'm feeling so.

2)Oedipus Complex- at times i was wondering if i really like her or just cos of the competitiveness or what. Oedipus Complex explains why guys choose their partner that resemble their mother. And because i'm too particular with this and no two people can be similar, made it extremely difficult for me to be interested in any girl i've met. All girls seemed so normal as i always say.

3) Super ego... very chim, dunno how to explain..
4)reminiscence - as much as i wanted my past to be part of my strenght, it can really hold me back as well. Hysteria is caused by reminiscence, so in the future if you see me laughing hysterically, you will know why.

According to my references, FEAR and DESIRE are the primary source of all cause. Its something i've learnt myself the hard way, that was why i'm always taking about courage and be fearless. My FEARs really prevented me from doing anything, hence leads to everything. I had great fear within me. As for desire, i had a very chim concept which is too wordy to type at this point.

There are reasons why i really wanted to take psychology as a minor. I need to know why. I strongly believe that an unexamined life is a life not truely lived. Only if one can understand oneself, one will know the way.


Catching the falling leaves ...[2:10 AM]
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