Saturday, June 30, 2007
070707 part 1
大家好，我是谭腾达。
再多一个星期我就二十一岁了。
和往年不一样， 即将登入二十一岁的我并不感到害怕与恐慌。
Hello everyone, my name is tengda
And in another week, will be my 21st birthday
Unlike previous years, the transition towards 21 doesn't make me fearful and anxious
因为我已不再迷惑，
我无须彷徨。
This is because, i am no longer confused and there is no need for me to be lost
在这短暂的一年里，我面对了数不尽的逆境，认识了不少相识， 经历了无数的喜怒哀乐。
使我在不知觉中迅速的成熟，变得更坚强。
迅速到偶尔会失去了自我，难免遗忘了目标， 甚至还免不了放弃了原本的梦想
Within the short span of a year, i've encountered numerous difficulties, met with a significant number of acquaintance and experience uncountable joy, anger, sorrow and happiness.
This leads me to mature and develop unknowingly, and hence become stronger than before.
During this period of rapid changes, it is unavoidable that there are times in which i've lost myself, forgotten my goals and even forsaken my dreams.
男生怎么说还是男生
Guys will be guys
有时还是会感到疲惫无奈，有时还会变得任性霸道，不可理喻，有时还不得不放弃尊严而独自哭泣。
There are times that we can get tired, there are sometimes we might become willful and obnoxious, and from time to time to forsake the pride of a guy and weep alone.
在此刻就请你体谅我吧。。。
At times like this, please show your understanding and forgive me
在面对不少变化的我，深深地认为无论人怎么变化还是离不开真正的自我。
Facing numberous changes, i firmly believes that no matter how much one can change, one can never deviate from one's core, inner self.
大家好，我是谭腾达。
再多一个星期我就二十一岁了。
和往年不一样， 即将登入二十一岁的我并不感到害怕与恐慌。
Hello everyone, my name is tengda
And in another week, will be my 21st birthday
Unlike previous years, the transition towards 21 doesn't make me fearful and anxious
因为我已不再迷惑，
我无须彷徨。
This is because, i am no longer confused and there is no need for me to be lost
在这短暂的一年里，我面对了数不尽的逆境，认识了不少相识， 经历了无数的喜怒哀乐。
使我在不知觉中迅速的成熟，变得更坚强。
迅速到偶尔会失去了自我，难免遗忘了目标， 甚至还免不了放弃了原本的梦想
Within the short span of a year, i've encountered numerous difficulties, met with a significant number of acquaintance and experience uncountable joy, anger, sorrow and happiness.
This leads me to mature and develop unknowingly, and hence become stronger than before.
During this period of rapid changes, it is unavoidable that there are times in which i've lost myself, forgotten my goals and even forsaken my dreams.
男生怎么说还是男生
Guys will be guys
有时还是会感到疲惫无奈，有时还会变得任性霸道，不可理喻，有时还不得不放弃尊严而独自哭泣。
There are times that we can get tired, there are sometimes we might become willful and obnoxious, and from time to time to forsake the pride of a guy and weep alone.
在此刻就请你体谅我吧。。。
At times like this, please show your understanding and forgive me
在面对不少变化的我，深深地认为无论人怎么变化还是离不开真正的自我。
Facing numberous changes, i firmly believes that no matter how much one can change, one can never deviate from one's core, inner self.
腾达就是腾达。
Tengda will always be Tengda
腾达仍然还是一样傲慢骄傲，固执坚决。还是一样， 迟钝内向， 优柔寡断。 还是一样， 真心诚恳。。。
I will always still be the same proud and arrogant me, I will always be the introvert, slow to warm up self, I will always be the true, spirited self.
腾达一向讨厌变化， 讨厌他人理论着自己的改变。 事实上只是害怕自己而已
Tengda hates changes, he detests people who commented that he changed. The truth is, he is afraid of himself only..
我要高飞
I want to fly
俯瞰着辉煌的世界
To look at the majestic world from the sky above
沸腾的热血
My boiling blood
带着到达梦想的感觉.
Will give me the strenght and feeling to obtain my dreams.
有时在梦里，沉入在无限界
At times in my dream when i sink into the void of despair
咆哮出无奈的错觉
screaming out from the delusion of helplessness
惊慌失措苏醒，立刻才发现
It is only after waking up in sweat that i'll finally realise
幸福之路不远，投降才会变
The route to happiness isn't far, Only by accepting this fact, we can start setting off
高飞到，白云层，宛如针，一次穿破时空。
Fly above the snow white clouds, like an arrow that pierce through even the limitation of time!
哪里的路不知道
Where is my route to follow? i don't know
那里我的爱我想要
There is my love, I will obtain
这里却步这我不要。
Here i stay still, I will not.
高飞到，白云层，宛如针，一次穿破时空。
Fly above the snow white clouds, like an arrow that pierce through even the limitation of time!
Catching the falling leaves ...[9:55 AM]
****** ******
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Set back
Met up with my first set back in ntu yesterday, and i'm not happy about it.
Seriously, no one will be.
Once again, i've spend the entire night in denial stage, trying to avoid thinking about it by sleeping through it.
Its so unjust.
Some slacker put in the minimal effort for the same modules during another semester got the same result as me.
I had the determination, and had put in all the necessary effort. This is just not right. Intelligence? you must be joking.
When i had finally figured out that the root of the problem is poor strategising, it even made me feel worst.
I am a manipulative person in nature who thinks steps ahead before doing my things. Really, it is an insult for me to be overlooking some important aspects in the game.
Looking at the bright side, at least from now on, i know exactly where to go and what to do.
Oh my, this is such a costly lesson
Met up with my first set back in ntu yesterday, and i'm not happy about it.
Seriously, no one will be.
Once again, i've spend the entire night in denial stage, trying to avoid thinking about it by sleeping through it.
Its so unjust.
Some slacker put in the minimal effort for the same modules during another semester got the same result as me.
I had the determination, and had put in all the necessary effort. This is just not right. Intelligence? you must be joking.
When i had finally figured out that the root of the problem is poor strategising, it even made me feel worst.
I am a manipulative person in nature who thinks steps ahead before doing my things. Really, it is an insult for me to be overlooking some important aspects in the game.
Looking at the bright side, at least from now on, i know exactly where to go and what to do.
Oh my, this is such a costly lesson
Labels: school, senseless rant
Catching the falling leaves ...[6:38 PM]
****** ******
Calling
Since i couldn't concentrate on doing my stuff due to the headache, I decided to start calling people who i wanted to be there for my birthday dinner next sat.
I'll reserve next sat, the exact day for the army people. And the week after, which is my lunar calendar birthday, for my closest friends cos it will be a combine birthday celebration with eugchua.
ITs not my style to have a big and grand party where people dont know each other and feel uncomfortable being there. I would rather have more outings and spend my attention on all my friends.
It should be exciting when i called to invite them down. First was yiguang who agreed immediately, then edwin, next was gu then ziwei. Wee keat said that he will be busy going to jurong birdpark, since he is going out with his gf, i didnt add pressure to him by saying its a birthday dinner treat. So far benn and yoong kheong are uncontactable. Navin is now still overseas but he promised that he will come back in time for the dinner..
Scrolling down the phone book, i wondered who else i left out.
I paused upon seeing the name NG.
Though i knew it was silly, i still pressed the call button. I really really feel like taking to him.
...Sorry the starhub number you had dialled is currently not in service...
Once again, i cried
(added on 0925am)
Got a bad start this morning.
Intending to go out to have a jog, i got changed and left my room.
Only when i'm outside that i realised that i've forgot to lock the door, Went down again to the track when i realised that i wore my tshirt in the reverse direction...
The only good thing happened was that my headache had finally subside, though there is a slight pain tingering, its already a big improvement since yesterday.
I spent the entire running session wondering if i shld invite ssg kenneth along. Its his birthday that week as well anyway. For some reasons, i think might get emotional if i see him once again.
Maybe i'll call him later
Since i couldn't concentrate on doing my stuff due to the headache, I decided to start calling people who i wanted to be there for my birthday dinner next sat.
I'll reserve next sat, the exact day for the army people. And the week after, which is my lunar calendar birthday, for my closest friends cos it will be a combine birthday celebration with eugchua.
ITs not my style to have a big and grand party where people dont know each other and feel uncomfortable being there. I would rather have more outings and spend my attention on all my friends.
It should be exciting when i called to invite them down. First was yiguang who agreed immediately, then edwin, next was gu then ziwei. Wee keat said that he will be busy going to jurong birdpark, since he is going out with his gf, i didnt add pressure to him by saying its a birthday dinner treat. So far benn and yoong kheong are uncontactable. Navin is now still overseas but he promised that he will come back in time for the dinner..
Scrolling down the phone book, i wondered who else i left out.
I paused upon seeing the name NG.
Though i knew it was silly, i still pressed the call button. I really really feel like taking to him.
...Sorry the starhub number you had dialled is currently not in service...
Once again, i cried
(added on 0925am)
Got a bad start this morning.
Intending to go out to have a jog, i got changed and left my room.
Only when i'm outside that i realised that i've forgot to lock the door, Went down again to the track when i realised that i wore my tshirt in the reverse direction...
The only good thing happened was that my headache had finally subside, though there is a slight pain tingering, its already a big improvement since yesterday.
I spent the entire running session wondering if i shld invite ssg kenneth along. Its his birthday that week as well anyway. For some reasons, i think might get emotional if i see him once again.
Maybe i'll call him later
Catching the falling leaves ...[12:30 AM]
****** ******
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Headache
The headache just wouldnt go away. i've tried sleeping for 8 hrs since yesterday, attempted to presribe myself with some yin chiao, now I'm drowning myself with vitamin C drink in hopes things will get better.
This is my first time experiencing such sensation of headache, and i seriously dont know what is wrong with me. Its really painful at a particular spot. Lets just hope that it isn't some tumor or brain cancer that is going up there. Else the next time u will see my typing rubbish on this blog. ( not as if there isn't any rubbish post down here already), provided i still rmb the password then. ITs an universal password though, a word and has something to do with Wenyan. Think this shld be enough retrival cues to make me recall in anychance of retrograde amesia.
Drinking session with ganesha and friends this friday, if this doesn't do the trick, i bet nothing else will!
The headache just wouldnt go away. i've tried sleeping for 8 hrs since yesterday, attempted to presribe myself with some yin chiao, now I'm drowning myself with vitamin C drink in hopes things will get better.
This is my first time experiencing such sensation of headache, and i seriously dont know what is wrong with me. Its really painful at a particular spot. Lets just hope that it isn't some tumor or brain cancer that is going up there. Else the next time u will see my typing rubbish on this blog. ( not as if there isn't any rubbish post down here already), provided i still rmb the password then. ITs an universal password though, a word and has something to do with Wenyan. Think this shld be enough retrival cues to make me recall in anychance of retrograde amesia.
Drinking session with ganesha and friends this friday, if this doesn't do the trick, i bet nothing else will!
Catching the falling leaves ...[1:53 PM]
****** ******
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Dota ?
Yesterday was the very first time i had looked into dota and really enjoyed myself. Seriously, its really who we are playing with that makes the difference.
It was really funny yesterday, within the span of 1 day i've met people whom i've not met for like 3-4 yrs.
First was xieqiang (npcc junior, met at lot 1), then was mr neo (fmaths tutor at yew tee), Jingkai (whom never failed not to come for the numerous outing during the past few yrs), Charles an yaoxian (formerly my sec1 cadets).
I really couldnt recognise Charles and especially yaoxian. It was they who cried out my name while at ang mokio. To think eugchua claimed that he couldnt recognise me after i met him like 2 months ago. Took me 3 secs to identify charles. Whereas for Yaoxian, i was like exclaiming, 'oh my!' upon their introduction. How fast kids grow up nowadays... There was a time when these people where so important to me, that was 3 yrs ago.
REally made me wonder if it was an army thing that sealed me off from all my contacts,or it just seems so easy to bump into someone u know along the road.
--------------------------------
While driving back to ntu this morning, father kept on distracting me by mentioning issue of me finding a girlfriend.
"you know the girl in my shop is not bad, she is coming back from china on the 15th next month"
"Rmb the girl across the street at block 168 who came over at our place twice? you shld go ask her out!"
"You in NTU so long already, interested in anyone?"
(hello i've only been in ntu for like 1 month)
Before i realised, i was speeding at 145km/hr....
And reached ntu within 10 mins ....
Yesterday was the very first time i had looked into dota and really enjoyed myself. Seriously, its really who we are playing with that makes the difference.
It was really funny yesterday, within the span of 1 day i've met people whom i've not met for like 3-4 yrs.
First was xieqiang (npcc junior, met at lot 1), then was mr neo (fmaths tutor at yew tee), Jingkai (whom never failed not to come for the numerous outing during the past few yrs), Charles an yaoxian (formerly my sec1 cadets).
I really couldnt recognise Charles and especially yaoxian. It was they who cried out my name while at ang mokio. To think eugchua claimed that he couldnt recognise me after i met him like 2 months ago. Took me 3 secs to identify charles. Whereas for Yaoxian, i was like exclaiming, 'oh my!' upon their introduction. How fast kids grow up nowadays... There was a time when these people where so important to me, that was 3 yrs ago.
REally made me wonder if it was an army thing that sealed me off from all my contacts,or it just seems so easy to bump into someone u know along the road.
--------------------------------
While driving back to ntu this morning, father kept on distracting me by mentioning issue of me finding a girlfriend.
"you know the girl in my shop is not bad, she is coming back from china on the 15th next month"
"Rmb the girl across the street at block 168 who came over at our place twice? you shld go ask her out!"
"You in NTU so long already, interested in anyone?"
(hello i've only been in ntu for like 1 month)
Before i realised, i was speeding at 145km/hr....
And reached ntu within 10 mins ....
Catching the falling leaves ...[11:04 AM]
****** ******
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Learnt Helplessness
After another easy kayaking session with nyp students at paris, i took a taxi to ps to meet up with jc.
Had a long chat with the taxi driver.
He is sick and tired of the life in Singapore. If, by any chance, he has the money, he will want to migrate to china to live in a small rural countryside and stay a peaceful and xiao xiao sa sa life.
That is his goal in life.
I pity him
Has he been to china's rural countryside before? does he know what it takes to have a peaceful and free and easy life?
He want freedom and thinks that he can find it over there.
He blames everything for the situation He is in and thought that by going to another place, he will be better off.
Rubbish.
I really wanted to tell him off. He will only make himself miserable day by day having such thoughts. A great example of Learnt Helplessness by Seligman.
My power is based on the starlight...
----------------------------------------
In the span of 2 days, i got to meet with 3 acquaintance who all guessed my age to be 26.
It was just 6 months ago when i put up the post about the rule of 1/4, saying how people said i looked like 16 etc etc.
Its amazing how people can age during the span of 6 months...
I just realised today that the next new moon will be my lunar calender's birthday....
( satistics becomes 4 acquaintance in the span of 3 days)
After another easy kayaking session with nyp students at paris, i took a taxi to ps to meet up with jc.
Had a long chat with the taxi driver.
He is sick and tired of the life in Singapore. If, by any chance, he has the money, he will want to migrate to china to live in a small rural countryside and stay a peaceful and xiao xiao sa sa life.
That is his goal in life.
I pity him
Has he been to china's rural countryside before? does he know what it takes to have a peaceful and free and easy life?
He want freedom and thinks that he can find it over there.
He blames everything for the situation He is in and thought that by going to another place, he will be better off.
Rubbish.
I really wanted to tell him off. He will only make himself miserable day by day having such thoughts. A great example of Learnt Helplessness by Seligman.
My power is based on the starlight...
----------------------------------------
In the span of 2 days, i got to meet with 3 acquaintance who all guessed my age to be 26.
It was just 6 months ago when i put up the post about the rule of 1/4, saying how people said i looked like 16 etc etc.
Its amazing how people can age during the span of 6 months...
I just realised today that the next new moon will be my lunar calender's birthday....
( satistics becomes 4 acquaintance in the span of 3 days)
Catching the falling leaves ...[11:47 PM]
****** ******
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Rainy Days
I always like rainy days, especially when the wind blow strongly without any lightning of course.
Yesterday seemed to be the very first time I got turned off by the rain.
Day:
This is my first time coarching over at kallang side. Everything seemed so perfect during the start. I was partnered with mr goh (someone i've worked and comfortable with), the class size was minimized as some couldn't come (so it is easier to teach) and the people are from RV ncc, so all were very well behaved and had positive attitude.
What delighted me was that i saw quite afew familer faces along the way, there is bochun my npcc junior who is now in yr 2 temasek poly, brian my bmt mate (N01 S04 B02), Yihui (an acquaintance whom i've spent 4 days with together, and i was really jealous of him as mentioned in the post 3 months ago)
Everything was going on smoothly until it rained heavily and we were stuck in the sea. Since Only left the last part on REscue, uncle goh decided to press on and get it over and done with. That was when i found jiong Rui, a student who did the victim role and capsized, to be silvering and pale. He denied his status when i first asked him how he was, but soon gave in and was 'frozen', feverish and stale. It was decided that i tow him back to shore (which is a good 10 mins distance during peak condition). The current was strong and choppy. Uncle goh conveniently sent in 3 'escort' to assist me 'in case anything happens'.
IT was a good 10 mins straineous paddling when one escort behind screamed. Kelvin capsized. I had to think quickly. To rescue the capsized or to sent the sick back. Analysing the danger. I immmediately got Tzeyong to stay with him ( hopefully to use the knowledge he just learnt to pick him up). Cheeling followed me to settle one problem at a time.
Jiong rui was sent back to shore and his teacher attended him, cheeling handled the kayaks and i went back to sea to continue with the rescue. As expected, the beginners were having a hard time due to the environment.... All in a day's work...
Night:
It started raining (again) at 930pm when we were already at Labardour park. It took us quite sometime to look for a shelter and we were all wet as a result. Eventually, i accepted the fact that the rain will only weaken and not stop, hence we pressed on.
seriously, there are 1001 ways we could have died along the way. Night cycling is really very dangerous. All of us were cold and tired when we reached jalan kayu for roti parta. To make things worst, jiacai's bike punctured becos of a thumbtack. The event had to be cut.
We took taxi and head back to east coast park at 5am. Waited until 8am for the bike store to open, when it started raining heavily again.....
The only logical explanation was that yongcheng, who we rejected him to come for the event , got a voodoo bike doll and kept on splashing water on it and piercing it with thumbtacks...
I always like rainy days, especially when the wind blow strongly without any lightning of course.
Yesterday seemed to be the very first time I got turned off by the rain.
Day:
This is my first time coarching over at kallang side. Everything seemed so perfect during the start. I was partnered with mr goh (someone i've worked and comfortable with), the class size was minimized as some couldn't come (so it is easier to teach) and the people are from RV ncc, so all were very well behaved and had positive attitude.
What delighted me was that i saw quite afew familer faces along the way, there is bochun my npcc junior who is now in yr 2 temasek poly, brian my bmt mate (N01 S04 B02), Yihui (an acquaintance whom i've spent 4 days with together, and i was really jealous of him as mentioned in the post 3 months ago)
Everything was going on smoothly until it rained heavily and we were stuck in the sea. Since Only left the last part on REscue, uncle goh decided to press on and get it over and done with. That was when i found jiong Rui, a student who did the victim role and capsized, to be silvering and pale. He denied his status when i first asked him how he was, but soon gave in and was 'frozen', feverish and stale. It was decided that i tow him back to shore (which is a good 10 mins distance during peak condition). The current was strong and choppy. Uncle goh conveniently sent in 3 'escort' to assist me 'in case anything happens'.
IT was a good 10 mins straineous paddling when one escort behind screamed. Kelvin capsized. I had to think quickly. To rescue the capsized or to sent the sick back. Analysing the danger. I immmediately got Tzeyong to stay with him ( hopefully to use the knowledge he just learnt to pick him up). Cheeling followed me to settle one problem at a time.
Jiong rui was sent back to shore and his teacher attended him, cheeling handled the kayaks and i went back to sea to continue with the rescue. As expected, the beginners were having a hard time due to the environment.... All in a day's work...
Night:
It started raining (again) at 930pm when we were already at Labardour park. It took us quite sometime to look for a shelter and we were all wet as a result. Eventually, i accepted the fact that the rain will only weaken and not stop, hence we pressed on.
seriously, there are 1001 ways we could have died along the way. Night cycling is really very dangerous. All of us were cold and tired when we reached jalan kayu for roti parta. To make things worst, jiacai's bike punctured becos of a thumbtack. The event had to be cut.
We took taxi and head back to east coast park at 5am. Waited until 8am for the bike store to open, when it started raining heavily again.....
The only logical explanation was that yongcheng, who we rejected him to come for the event , got a voodoo bike doll and kept on splashing water on it and piercing it with thumbtacks...
Catching the falling leaves ...[5:46 PM]
****** ******
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Coming Home
It hurts me upon coming home.
There are reasons why i always liked to stay in camp as much as possible. Always giving the excuse that i dont want to travel too far. It is only during weekends when i'm obligated to return as many would question. By staying in hall, i'll not be questioned by anyone.
The only reason why i'm back is to collect the ntu letter and to collect my kayaking equipment. I need them tml.
I'm not running away from any problems or trying to push everything away from me, neither am i not accepting the truth. It is just that i couldn't bear to see it happening right before me. From the looks of things, the time will come within this 4 yrs.... and when it happens, i will not cry.
---------------
Exams was as expected.
psycho was fun.... the most memorable one was abt ' descibe how freud will interpret her dream'. Those who knows freud would understand his basic principle of his theory. This is the first time i'm so crude, really. And in exam papers somemore....
Im glad i didnt spend any extra effort on marketing, the result will be the same anyway. And i will still misinterpret the last 5 marks question and crap my way thru it. Getting a B+ for it shld be no prob, i hope, but if lucky lucky get A will be nice.... I underestimate and understrategise the system of SU. I don't like it when i overlook something in my plan.
-----------------------
Going night cycling tml. it will be an unforgettable experience.
It hurts me upon coming home.
There are reasons why i always liked to stay in camp as much as possible. Always giving the excuse that i dont want to travel too far. It is only during weekends when i'm obligated to return as many would question. By staying in hall, i'll not be questioned by anyone.
The only reason why i'm back is to collect the ntu letter and to collect my kayaking equipment. I need them tml.
I'm not running away from any problems or trying to push everything away from me, neither am i not accepting the truth. It is just that i couldn't bear to see it happening right before me. From the looks of things, the time will come within this 4 yrs.... and when it happens, i will not cry.
---------------
Exams was as expected.
psycho was fun.... the most memorable one was abt ' descibe how freud will interpret her dream'. Those who knows freud would understand his basic principle of his theory. This is the first time i'm so crude, really. And in exam papers somemore....
Im glad i didnt spend any extra effort on marketing, the result will be the same anyway. And i will still misinterpret the last 5 marks question and crap my way thru it. Getting a B+ for it shld be no prob, i hope, but if lucky lucky get A will be nice.... I underestimate and understrategise the system of SU. I don't like it when i overlook something in my plan.
-----------------------
Going night cycling tml. it will be an unforgettable experience.
Catching the falling leaves ...[12:34 AM]
****** ******
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
I'm so hot
I just love this feeling of getting heated up, jumpy and restlessness.
Its a good indication that im all well prepared and getting an A+ is no problem.
More worried abt the marketing tml... but that will be something to worry about later tonight...
I just love this feeling of getting heated up, jumpy and restlessness.
Its a good indication that im all well prepared and getting an A+ is no problem.
More worried abt the marketing tml... but that will be something to worry about later tonight...
Catching the falling leaves ...[10:55 AM]
****** ******
Monday, June 11, 2007
Burn out excess
The wind keeps on blowing in this starry night. Just love this feeling of Dark Earth...
Currently, i'm eating bittergourd, tofu and chicken. Together with my carrot juice, this will be my dinner for tonight. I suddenly rmb that jy always told me that her everyday meals during ntu is like bread and ceral and more bread. And i would spend the entire day figuring out how humanly possible can one survive like that....
As of today, i've locked myself in ntu for the past 4 weeks, only gotten home twice and out to civilization a couple of times. Things wasn't as bad as she described.
Hello Panda is now my staple everyday snack. I alternate between the chocolate and strawberry every 4-5 days, the time i take to consume the entire container. Seriously, Hello panda can really bring miracles in studying period. Its not often we can find the big container which sells roughly $5.50 anyway. NTu really knows its segmentation..
I've split my days into 4 parts. 6 hrs each.
Morning, afternoon, night, sleep. Always having problem in keeping awake during the afternoon part... Especially whenever i read the chapter on SLeep, it never fails to show me the importance of sleep and i'll definitely fall asleep eventually.
Consolidating all information and sorting it out is hard (especially for the thalamus)
2 more days to exams. From now onwards, I'lll burn out excess. Show time...
(im really tempted to try out the classical conditioning technique on the cat... maybe after exams..)
The wind keeps on blowing in this starry night. Just love this feeling of Dark Earth...
Currently, i'm eating bittergourd, tofu and chicken. Together with my carrot juice, this will be my dinner for tonight. I suddenly rmb that jy always told me that her everyday meals during ntu is like bread and ceral and more bread. And i would spend the entire day figuring out how humanly possible can one survive like that....
As of today, i've locked myself in ntu for the past 4 weeks, only gotten home twice and out to civilization a couple of times. Things wasn't as bad as she described.
Hello Panda is now my staple everyday snack. I alternate between the chocolate and strawberry every 4-5 days, the time i take to consume the entire container. Seriously, Hello panda can really bring miracles in studying period. Its not often we can find the big container which sells roughly $5.50 anyway. NTu really knows its segmentation..
I've split my days into 4 parts. 6 hrs each.
Morning, afternoon, night, sleep. Always having problem in keeping awake during the afternoon part... Especially whenever i read the chapter on SLeep, it never fails to show me the importance of sleep and i'll definitely fall asleep eventually.
Consolidating all information and sorting it out is hard (especially for the thalamus)
2 more days to exams. From now onwards, I'lll burn out excess. Show time...
(im really tempted to try out the classical conditioning technique on the cat... maybe after exams..)
Catching the falling leaves ...[7:55 PM]
****** ******
Saturday, June 09, 2007
procrastinate
I screwed up today's learning schedule.
It all started when i wanted to learn marketing...
Then i gave myself the excuses, to take a nap first before starting....
When i'm all refreashed, i told myself that i need to get all my pasy yrs exams papers ready...
When i've printed out all the past yrs papers, i told myself to go eat dinner...
When i've eaten dinner, and looked that the question, i got stuck and try to 'look for help'
Couldn't find any help, i moved on the the next question but i told myself, i got no mood to continue next question if i couldnt complete the first one...
And the time now is 11pm....
Now i'm trying to push all the blame to jh who says she just got home and going to bathe. Though i know that the chances of her able to answer my questions is low, im still right here waiting for her to return to keyboard...procrastinate...
I screwed up today's learning schedule.
It all started when i wanted to learn marketing...
Then i gave myself the excuses, to take a nap first before starting....
When i'm all refreashed, i told myself that i need to get all my pasy yrs exams papers ready...
When i've printed out all the past yrs papers, i told myself to go eat dinner...
When i've eaten dinner, and looked that the question, i got stuck and try to 'look for help'
Couldn't find any help, i moved on the the next question but i told myself, i got no mood to continue next question if i couldnt complete the first one...
And the time now is 11pm....
Now i'm trying to push all the blame to jh who says she just got home and going to bathe. Though i know that the chances of her able to answer my questions is low, im still right here waiting for her to return to keyboard...procrastinate...
Catching the falling leaves ...[10:57 PM]
****** ******
Friday, June 08, 2007
I just got to write this
In one recent study, college students who wrote about a negative emotional event showed sizable improvement in working memory compared with students who wrote about a positive event and those in a control group who wrote about their daliy schedule. The expressive writing effect on working memory occurred only when students had fewer intrusive thoughts and avoidant thoughts. In other words, expressive writing appears to help you avoid distracting effects of emotional thoughts by 'getting them out of your system'. In the study, improvement in working memory was assoicated wiht higher GPA.
Hence, do be prepared to see me writing alot of negative emotional events! bwahaaha...
Coincidentally, there is one that happened today.
I've been a group loafer for the marketing project. And so i thought i was.
Seriously, saying that im a social loafer is just an excuse for the problem i have. It takes alot more to solve it, maybe more conditioning helps, i hope. Eitherway, i was ashame of how i behaved. Self serving bias tells me that i'm blaming on the external cause that is not only stable but global for how i behaved. Macroenvironment shows demographics, place and culture can affect the consumer's blackbox in terms of their buying behaviour.
See! who says marketing, psychology and blogging cannot be combined as one? Right now i'm using Chunking technique to encode so many information via elaboration and imagery. Hopefully, this information will be stored into my explicit memory and i can easily retrive for this information has already been in my schemas. And if i keep on doing this, long-term potentiation will occur as i strengthened my neurons'connection. Unless i have anterograde amnesia which maybe caused by the impaired of my hippocamus, i hope that this memory stays the way it is..Worst come to worst, if i have the tip of the tongue phenomenon, i'll try to think back this post for retrival cues.
Before i know it, i realised im talking to myself, perhaps this is a form of dissociative identiy disorder??
In one recent study, college students who wrote about a negative emotional event showed sizable improvement in working memory compared with students who wrote about a positive event and those in a control group who wrote about their daliy schedule. The expressive writing effect on working memory occurred only when students had fewer intrusive thoughts and avoidant thoughts. In other words, expressive writing appears to help you avoid distracting effects of emotional thoughts by 'getting them out of your system'. In the study, improvement in working memory was assoicated wiht higher GPA.
Hence, do be prepared to see me writing alot of negative emotional events! bwahaaha...
Coincidentally, there is one that happened today.
I've been a group loafer for the marketing project. And so i thought i was.
Seriously, saying that im a social loafer is just an excuse for the problem i have. It takes alot more to solve it, maybe more conditioning helps, i hope. Eitherway, i was ashame of how i behaved. Self serving bias tells me that i'm blaming on the external cause that is not only stable but global for how i behaved. Macroenvironment shows demographics, place and culture can affect the consumer's blackbox in terms of their buying behaviour.
See! who says marketing, psychology and blogging cannot be combined as one? Right now i'm using Chunking technique to encode so many information via elaboration and imagery. Hopefully, this information will be stored into my explicit memory and i can easily retrive for this information has already been in my schemas. And if i keep on doing this, long-term potentiation will occur as i strengthened my neurons'connection. Unless i have anterograde amnesia which maybe caused by the impaired of my hippocamus, i hope that this memory stays the way it is..Worst come to worst, if i have the tip of the tongue phenomenon, i'll try to think back this post for retrival cues.
Before i know it, i realised im talking to myself, perhaps this is a form of dissociative identiy disorder??
Labels: psycho
Catching the falling leaves ...[9:41 PM]
****** ******
Thursday, June 07, 2007
30 days
First thing first, the floor mat i've bought for my room has officially become the sleeping mat for THE cat. According to kelvin, the cat is cute. It was sleeping soundly at 2am this morning and i couldn't bear to (and bother myself) to chase it out, with that i closed the door with it sleeping inside.
Thats when all the commotion started.
Seriously, i wasn't sure whether i was dreaming or not, but i vaguely remembering that a cat like figure was sleeping ON MY BED during roughly 3am. And the innately violent me flicked it away..Seriously. i couldnt tell. (perhaps it is dissociative amnesia that made me forgotten if i really did it or not)
Anyway, reports from Kelvin was that he was sleeping when he felt something furry on his legs. The sensation climbed to his arms along the night...
-------------------------------
It has been a trainride ever since i've been to uni. (Hopefully it will be so for the next 4 yrs.)
So much so to the extent that i totally forgotten that it is just another 30days until the promised date. Work load will end by half next week onwards, I WILL put everything i have to end the chapter.
First thing first, the floor mat i've bought for my room has officially become the sleeping mat for THE cat. According to kelvin, the cat is cute. It was sleeping soundly at 2am this morning and i couldn't bear to (and bother myself) to chase it out, with that i closed the door with it sleeping inside.
Thats when all the commotion started.
Seriously, i wasn't sure whether i was dreaming or not, but i vaguely remembering that a cat like figure was sleeping ON MY BED during roughly 3am. And the innately violent me flicked it away..Seriously. i couldnt tell. (perhaps it is dissociative amnesia that made me forgotten if i really did it or not)
Anyway, reports from Kelvin was that he was sleeping when he felt something furry on his legs. The sensation climbed to his arms along the night...
-------------------------------
It has been a trainride ever since i've been to uni. (Hopefully it will be so for the next 4 yrs.)
So much so to the extent that i totally forgotten that it is just another 30days until the promised date. Work load will end by half next week onwards, I WILL put everything i have to end the chapter.
Catching the falling leaves ...[4:33 PM]
****** ******
Sunday, June 03, 2007
Project in the house
I always welcome visitors in my house. Just that those i've invited always resented coming simply because my place is too far. So far, the number of visitors i have can be counted with less then 10 fingers. Whats more, there has never been cases of having any of my female friends coming down to my place. Until today.
3 infact.
We cracked our heads on the project almost immediately when they arrived. Normally, i've bring my guest around to have a tour at my place, to count the toilets and room and stuff. But for this, we are seriously lacking of time. Just too bad for them.
Mother loves to have visitors in our house (eventhough her mouth kept on saying otherwise, claiming that she dont want anyone to ruin her sing song session) She prepared lunch and dinner for all of us. Despite the salivating aroma, Stephanie didn't have any bite on the delicious roast duck and chicken. Cos she don't like it. How can she dont like it when she never tried it?'
Missing out delicacies such as abolone, lobster, crabs, chicken, milk, just like that. I think i'll really enjoy myself if we were invited to some wedding dinner. Oh wait! she did mention she likes shark fins... Argh!
Lita impressed me with her initiative to wash up the dishes. Seriously, i think (and according to mother) i have some repressed memory of washing dishes back from my childhood days that i couldn't make myself to wash any dish no matter how much i tried. I really pray hard that my future wife doesn't mind washing the dishes... Lets hope gals nowadays doesn't mind washing dishes. (ps. steph really cmi when it comes to washing dishes just like me...)
Li mei saved the day by successfully connect my laptop to my wireless. She did it like in a few mins whereas i gave up after an hour last night. If she is my closer friend, i will just jump up to her and say 爱死你了! SEriously. Anyone who has spent hours on the computer will understand the frustration ...
Die lah... project still not really solidify, though the idea is somehow close to completion. Lets hope tml can complete.
------------------------------
Someone from the unit called me last monday to ask me about some details.
I was pretty sure that this person was Jun Liang... Just that i was really puzzled how come he wanted to keep such a distance by not saying that its him. hmm... Maybe i think too much, maybe it wasnt him afterall.
---------------------------
Exams coming soon, I tend to be easily distracted nowadays.
I always welcome visitors in my house. Just that those i've invited always resented coming simply because my place is too far. So far, the number of visitors i have can be counted with less then 10 fingers. Whats more, there has never been cases of having any of my female friends coming down to my place. Until today.
3 infact.
We cracked our heads on the project almost immediately when they arrived. Normally, i've bring my guest around to have a tour at my place, to count the toilets and room and stuff. But for this, we are seriously lacking of time. Just too bad for them.
Mother loves to have visitors in our house (eventhough her mouth kept on saying otherwise, claiming that she dont want anyone to ruin her sing song session) She prepared lunch and dinner for all of us. Despite the salivating aroma, Stephanie didn't have any bite on the delicious roast duck and chicken. Cos she don't like it. How can she dont like it when she never tried it?'
Missing out delicacies such as abolone, lobster, crabs, chicken, milk, just like that. I think i'll really enjoy myself if we were invited to some wedding dinner. Oh wait! she did mention she likes shark fins... Argh!
Lita impressed me with her initiative to wash up the dishes. Seriously, i think (and according to mother) i have some repressed memory of washing dishes back from my childhood days that i couldn't make myself to wash any dish no matter how much i tried. I really pray hard that my future wife doesn't mind washing the dishes... Lets hope gals nowadays doesn't mind washing dishes. (ps. steph really cmi when it comes to washing dishes just like me...)
Li mei saved the day by successfully connect my laptop to my wireless. She did it like in a few mins whereas i gave up after an hour last night. If she is my closer friend, i will just jump up to her and say 爱死你了! SEriously. Anyone who has spent hours on the computer will understand the frustration ...
Die lah... project still not really solidify, though the idea is somehow close to completion. Lets hope tml can complete.
------------------------------
Someone from the unit called me last monday to ask me about some details.
I was pretty sure that this person was Jun Liang... Just that i was really puzzled how come he wanted to keep such a distance by not saying that its him. hmm... Maybe i think too much, maybe it wasnt him afterall.
---------------------------
Exams coming soon, I tend to be easily distracted nowadays.
Catching the falling leaves ...[9:36 PM]
****** ******
Friday, June 01, 2007
1st of june
Time flies when we are having fun?
I haven realised that May, the month that I've always been looking forward to and anticipating, was finally over.
I like things when its within my plan, who doesn't?
So far, things are going to my plan and I've been using my strong luck and all the advantages i have into this.
Something troubles me deeply today.
I used to be very proud that i've never skipped any lessons in my schooling life.
Today is the first time i've actually skipped the lesson using the reason of doing project.
Peer pressure and stuff lah...
But then again, if missing the class (and wasting $$) means gaining even more, why not?
Anyway, the group is coming to my house this sunday to finish off the project (hopefully). Of cos im alright with it, just that i find it funny to have people whom i bearly known for 1 month to be in my place. Whereas, there are people that i've known for my entire life, who never bothered to come down to visit.
IT has been weeks since i've gone back home, maybe its about time to go back to have a look.
TML will be whole day of studying! No distraction. Exams in less than 2 weeks...
Time flies when we are having fun?
I haven realised that May, the month that I've always been looking forward to and anticipating, was finally over.
I like things when its within my plan, who doesn't?
So far, things are going to my plan and I've been using my strong luck and all the advantages i have into this.
Something troubles me deeply today.
I used to be very proud that i've never skipped any lessons in my schooling life.
Today is the first time i've actually skipped the lesson using the reason of doing project.
Peer pressure and stuff lah...
But then again, if missing the class (and wasting $$) means gaining even more, why not?
Anyway, the group is coming to my house this sunday to finish off the project (hopefully). Of cos im alright with it, just that i find it funny to have people whom i bearly known for 1 month to be in my place. Whereas, there are people that i've known for my entire life, who never bothered to come down to visit.
IT has been weeks since i've gone back home, maybe its about time to go back to have a look.
TML will be whole day of studying! No distraction. Exams in less than 2 weeks...
Catching the falling leaves ...[7:47 PM]
****** ******
Neighbour next door
I suppose all my fans must be dying to find out how my place looks like right?
Actually, i've taken some photos when i first got in here. Just that i'm too lazy to dl the pics to the comp
Toilets and Tv are just round the corner...
This is the door of my neighbour
My table
The cat which kelvin invited in. Currently its officially adopted by our neighbours. It likes to eat cakes, but not durian puffs
This is the blind that "left one cannot pull down, right side cannot pull up, center one can pull up and down but this rod is broken.."
The nest i was telling the whole world about.... Lucky father came in to clear it away the 2nd day...
Facing west
Facing east
Marketing mindmap
Oh have i mentioned that we went to the pc show today?
the left is zhang yi, kelvin and guangbo on the right....
So far the furthest i've interacted with was room 634, kian xing who is living alone cos he roomy is on overseas attachment. Kian xing is malaysian. Not only is he super smart , but also very sporty as well. Its seriously really hard to find someone who has both brains and brawns like me nowadays.
Time to sleep...
I suppose all my fans must be dying to find out how my place looks like right?
Actually, i've taken some photos when i first got in here. Just that i'm too lazy to dl the pics to the comp
Toilets and Tv are just round the corner...
This is the door of my neighbour
My table
The cat which kelvin invited in. Currently its officially adopted by our neighbours. It likes to eat cakes, but not durian puffs
This is the blind that "left one cannot pull down, right side cannot pull up, center one can pull up and down but this rod is broken.."
The nest i was telling the whole world about.... Lucky father came in to clear it away the 2nd day...
Facing west
Facing east
Marketing mindmap
Oh have i mentioned that we went to the pc show today?
the left is zhang yi, kelvin and guangbo on the right....
So far the furthest i've interacted with was room 634, kian xing who is living alone cos he roomy is on overseas attachment. Kian xing is malaysian. Not only is he super smart , but also very sporty as well. Its seriously really hard to find someone who has both brains and brawns like me nowadays.
Time to sleep...
Labels: school
Catching the falling leaves ...[1:15 AM]
****** ******
*Bloogies*
*bryan
*old blog
*shaoquan
*ganesha
*jieying
*jas
*Mr Neo
*yuchun
*Kaiyang
*brian lee
*chwan soon
*andy chia
*yoongkheong
*edwin cheng
*guang rong
*ziqiangj03
*halfdotz
*estelle
*alvinj03
*?tengda?
*soonleong
*joel
*wenyan
. memories //*
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
March 2011
April 2011
May 2011
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
September 2011
October 2011
July 2012
*
Created by OnePlusYou