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Monday, October 26, 2009

I knew it all along.
The telltale signs are just screaming right before me.
Yet, i chose not to believe.
I chose to believe that it is nothing serious.
I chose to be optimistic and pretend nothing happened.

Last thursday and friday, I had already sense something was wrong.
I didn't want to know more.
I tried to plan an outing.
Hoping that everything will be just the way it is and everyone will turn up on sunday.

I was the very first few he informed on sat when he was hospitalised.
I choose not to accept the fact.
Dont have the courage to.
Scolded yongcheng for visiting that day.
Why visit when there is nothing seriously wrong? He will be out before you know it anyway.
Scolded Joel for telling other friends of his condition.
What for telling the whole world and making a big fuss out of things when it is nothing serious?
I didn't want to visit, nor to know more about it.
It feels like so long as i dont do so, all these can never be verified and I cannot say that it is true.

Once again, i did what i do best.
Living in denial.
And problems like this will just go away like that.

But things around us just can't let us live in a lie.
School friends visiting him, helping him to settle school's admin stuff and helping to keep others informed.

Of all people, i should be the one doing all these, not them.
I'm obligated to.
Yet, i couldn't do it.
I chose not to.
I dont have the courage to face him.


Catching the falling leaves ...[4:55 PM]
****** ******


Tuesday, October 06, 2009
and yes...
yes, i shld be studying for my quiz tml, the day after, the week after and the day after the week after.



But i just couldn't focus while at home.

Indeed, taking this semester with the juniors really feels different. It just feels so out of place with them around or shld i say with me around them. I really can't feel the stress with them around. Or perhaps its just a misperception.
Too much stress isn't good as well.
Remember how it was like in year one when we were overly stressed that lead us getting sick easily.
But then again, it is our own interpretation to stressors that make them stressors, if not they will just be another event. So in other words, its our choice to be stress or not.
So instead of pushing it to others, i shld say that i choose not to be stress.
Then everyday will be a happy day!!

Mid autumn festival was a romantic night together!
Holding onto lanterns, finding our way to the butterfly park, and yes it has been more then a year since i've been to the butterfly park! haha
Accidentally burning of lantern as well!

Suddenly feel like going out everyday. Wouldn't it be great?
Looking forward to our Penang trip!


Catching the falling leaves ...[10:05 PM]
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