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Thursday, February 21, 2008
Uneasy life decisions
I spent the entire day's lectures in deep thoughts.

Suddenly, i was in canada. In the next moment, i was in the pool. Then i would find myself back in the lecture theater missing out 2-3 mins worth of information that was taught. The cycle repeated itself every 5-10 mins or so...

I was offered a place to University of waterloo, Canada, for the next semester.
I need to accept or reject by next next week.

If it was me a year ago, I will take up this place, no hesitation.

A year ago, i have nothing to lose, as there is nothing holding me back, I wouldnt allow anyone to do so. I can just take a kayak, spend 3 days to paddle all the way there and back with no reservation, or just spent 4 days surfing the waves out at sea. Or even spent 2 weeks with someone i'm never close with, to fly to china including its most rural areas.
For me, if money can buy time and opportunity, i will spent it freely.
I can be as 豪爽 and 潇洒 as i want!

2008 is different.
I couldnt leave like that.
There are people who need me.
Friends i just got to know that i can bear to leave.
I want them to hold me back...
All my life, i've been hoping from classes to classes, school to school.
My heart had since been hardened for i never had a long term friend.
There was no point having one.
There was a time i told myself that i dont need friend.
I'm tired of being like that.

Will I still shine?


Before joining NTU, i told myself that there will only be two things i will be doing. Studying and Running. Nonetheless, it is not my style doing so.
I became willful. I joined the canoepolo team.
Certainly, i had my own agenda for doing so, but that will be a story for another time.

When participating in the activities, I can MOrph into Superman mode and create miracles. Nevertheless, i can't appear in different places all at once. And i had let canoe polo down.

Whenever i set my mind into something, i will not give upeasily.
Perhaps of my stubborness, I screw up many things. Things that i should have stop and given up long ago yet i'm clinging onto it. Canoe polo has now become part of it. And my experience is now screaming me not to make the same mistakes again.
I'll miss them... ...


Catching the falling leaves ...[8:00 PM]
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