Thursday, May 15, 2008

brotherhood
The last time i had a row with my brother was 4 years ago...

the cause of it was really nothing too serious,
but it continued with a qurrell
eventually ended of with a fist fight.
And blood splatter everywhere.

of cos, the source of the blood wasn't from me, for i was the one who caused it. In fact, apart from the swelling fist, there was practically no injury from me.
The blood stained the shirt and some other clothes.
Certainly, when parents came back from some wedding dinner. We told them its nose bleed. Only to their skeptic on how come a nose can bleed SO much.
Well, what can i say? I knew my innate tendency for violence long time ago... ...

Since then, i dare not to be too personal with my brother anymore. For i know, if there is any quarrel, which leads to a fight, it will be very bloody. So i became very superfical towards him. In the content i spoke with him, as well as the actions.
This will ensure we will not lead towards any disagreement which leads to arguement and end up violent.

That was 4 yrs ago.
And along the years, such behaviour became rather in build.

Yesterday, due to my tireness, we got into a tiny disagreement. And stubborness sets in. Both refuses to give in. Stale mate.

It was only then i thought of how choon yan can be so close with her brother. They can talk about ANYTHING under the sun, and even beyond that. Thus, That made me wonder alot. And i knew if there is something that need to be done it would be then.
hence 2 hrs after that arguement, i took the initiatiive to talk to him.

Perhaps this is the first time we ever have a heart to heart talk. The talk lasted for 2 hrs plus i think. And i didnt know that i actually have so much to share about. Well, i know i am a very naggy person, but never tot that i can be THAT naggy.
I brought up the incident 4 yrs ago, and indeed he remembered it clearly. every single detail.
I rmbed it clearly for the guilt i had, and for him? lets hope its not due to grudges shall we?

We all do things with a rationale. I never really like explaning why i do things the way i've done.
Cos my rationale will be pointless if i say it upright. During the conversation, i finally told him why. And thats because i cared too much. I did what i think i should, without explaning. Everthing became so touchy at that point... i ended up becoming teary while talking to him. Lets hope he wasnt wearing his specs to notice the tears.

oh well, i think i'm becoming a crybaby. and that is what i truely am. Just that i have repressed it for over 10 yrs or so i supposed.

Catching the falling leaves ...[11:17 PM]

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