Thursday, April 30, 2009

Angry because..... ...
I always believe that no matter what is our true nature, it is the situation and surrounds that is shaping us, forcing us to adapt and behave how we are behaving now.

In a more professional terms, it is called the eco- social environment.

People living in singapore are staying in close proximity and are closely knit with one another, hence they have to adapt to have others into consideration as they might disturb or affect those around them.

For me, i always felt that my behavior has alot to do with my middle child status of being sandwiched between two silbings, which lead to how i interpret and do things.

Certainly, everyone has their own way of doing things. My sister, being the eldest, wants to be in control and has always been too quick to reach to a conclusion without considering the other possible factors. As a result, she is always quick and swift in her every move and decision which is very essential for many situations. Nonetheless, this has always been annoying and is the source of majority of our disputes that we every had.

My brother has always been too clever and mature for his own good. When people normally ask why, he would ask 'why not'. His defiant acts, though harmless, never fails to make me uncomfortable and eventually lead to conflicts.

Engaged in numerous conflicts in my early part of life, it certainly too me awhile to realise this principle: We can be displeased or unsatisfied or uncomfortable with anything, but once we became angry or lose our temper good things will not happen.

I was always the first to lose my temper in every arguement. When we became angry, we will be blinded with the rage and just wanted to win thus became irrational and illogical in our arguement. In the mist of wanting to feel better, we will rise our voice or even resort to violents if we cant win verbally.
Of cos, from an outsider point of view, the one who first resort to violence is in the wrong.

Hence, it seems to be the case that everytime i was angry bad things will happen simply cos I am making the situation worst or present myself in a bad light (although i might be right in the first place) or doing extremes actions when I am not thinking proper making me regret and guilty in the end.

All in all, if i get angry, i will lose.

And if the things and situation is important to me, the more i shouldnt get angry and lose my temper for i know i will definitly regret it in the future.

That is why i was always puzzled,
i have always been using my own perceptive in viewing things and has always asked myself these questions when someone is angry with me:
1)If i am important to you, why are you getting angry, filling yourself with unhappy thoughts, saying out hurtful words and doing things that will not help the situation?
2)If you really value the relationship so much, why are you getting angry easily and doing things that will strain it? Isn't the importance of it has enough reasons for you not to be angry?

BUT
everyone is developed differently, no matter how similar it seems.
For some people, its because they are so concerned, they interpreted the situation differently from the customary. And when situation is out of their expectation, they wanted to show their displeasure and their way to express their displeasure is to lose their temper to get others attention.

I suppose that is why humans are so interesting, just as i was happy that i finally figure myself out, i realise that i just can't reapply how i understand abt myself onto others.... ....

Catching the falling leaves ...[11:56 PM]

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