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Wednesday, May 30, 2007
No scrub
Everything was perfect until 5pm when our group met up after class for project.
I was overwhelmed by the unpleasant feeling. If its ganesha, he will refer it as a 'demon'.
This feeling as so strong that i practically ran back to my room to seek refuge after the meeting.

Been stoning here since then.

I don't like this feeling, it makes me disgusted.

Tml will be a full moon. Classical Conditioning made me craves for Ice lemon tea...
Anyway, is it me or does the moon seems brighter tonight?
i feel to much.

It was just few months ago i announced to everyone that I WILL NEVER Drink beer and EAt Chilli no matter how much u force me.
'I will rather die than to consume..." was the exact sentence i used...
ITs funny how one's perference for food and taste change as they get older. Next i think you will see me drinking coffee everyday!

I got to know a girl with absolutely no substances today. Those who know me will understand how i detest such people. Call me a scrub, "A scrub is a guy that cant get no love from me"

Enough of sorting out my nonsensical thoughts. Time for something constructive!

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Catching the falling leaves ...[9:37 PM]
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Sunday, May 27, 2007
Kill them All!!
Currently, kelvin and I are enjoying being a sadist by luring all insects (we find in our room) into my newly bought insect killing machine! Its just so fun seeing all these insects being electrocuted one after another. Serve them right for sucking my blood during the past week.

As of now, our room got 2 lines of defence against these irritating creatures. First, is of cos this fine state of the art killing machine. Second, is this blood thristy, insect craving monster also known as the Pitcher Plant. With the combined power of nature and technology, all those insects that dare to infiltrate, bewarned!

Bwhahaha!!!


Catching the falling leaves ...[11:07 PM]
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Thursday, May 24, 2007
100th day
Was mugging for my psychology quiz then i just couldnt help it but to reminise.
And i realised that it has been 100 days since then. I vaguely remember that there should be a ritual conducted during the 100th day, right? Is there anymore spirit visiting session? hmm.. aiyoh.. This type of custom stuff i really know nothing much abt it. I've missed both windows anyway.. Just too bad for you. heh heh

It has been 3 weeks since i've entered uni. Couldn't emphasize how much i'm in love with psychology, and my dislike for marketing (despite the fact that my project group is really cool!). We have darius, steph, limei, lita and tim. They are my first few friends i aquainted in school, all of them have their own unique personalities, hence its rather enjoyable being with them.

Dont think i should reminise so much, psychology quiz is much more important than you.
haha..
Too much reminsing i think i'll be having hysteria one of these days...


Catching the falling leaves ...[1:29 AM]
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Monday, May 21, 2007
Tea Party
The day started off great last sat.
All those i know who are joining me during august came down for the tea party. Thomas, guanghong, lian hao to name a few.

What was most amazing was that i caught sight of a guy i knew from primary school while walking up the flight of stairs. It was only during the actual eating when this guy popped out suddenly and shouted out my name.
I was taken aback and above all, impressed.
It was like i've not seen this person after primary 3 till now. And yet he still remembers me.

And as always, i made a fool out of myself with my disgusting table manners by putting tempura into the chocolate fondue. Everyone has a good laugh.

Until some orientation guy came down to persuade us to join their orientation camp. I looked at the date of the camp and told him politely that i'll be having lessons during this period.

I was expecting him to reply something like,"oh if its like that, then maybe u come down for the camp and leave when u have lessons"

But no, he replied blantly,"Dont go for lessons ! its ok one! few lessons only!"

I never felt like slapping someone for a long long time. Not as if i dont want to slap some of those idiots i met in china 3 weeks ago since i know they are not worth my energy, but i'm sure this guy will truely deserved it. He is Worth it.

Thomas knew how i felt. I even revealed some of my story to him, telling him how important this 4 yrs is to me. I already had 6 months all for myself. Ever since the school started, I'm not living for myself anymore. There are dreams and wishes and greatness i'm burdened upon to fulfill.

If i have a choice, do you think i don't want to go to orientation camp to make friends and to have fun? Do u think i enjoyed doing that? Why do you think i cancelled my orignial plans and start my special term early?



I really made it when i said i felt like unleashing my innate violent nature.

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Catching the falling leaves ...[12:45 AM]
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Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Sins from the Past
While waiting for the shuttle bus back to my room today, I came across with a 4-5 yr old girl.

She behaved EXACTLY how i used to behave in the past. The exactly behaviour which i myself couldn't explain why i was doing so back then. As freud always like to say, childhood experience will have strong implications as one grows up.

Despite my countless sayings that i'll not be blogging, it seems to be the case that im doing so like every single day. People need outlet for the tough things they are doing everyday ma...

But this time, im very serious to be absolutely focus...
.....

REally!!

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Catching the falling leaves ...[6:38 PM]
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Tuesday, May 15, 2007
GO to SLEEP!
Despite my conditioning to sleep less during the past months, I'm still cannot handle the strain of having less sleep, especially my schedule has always be very tied and strenous. So much so its taking its toll when i completely shut down.

Pei, someone whom i bearly know, told me to go back early to sleep. It was 1015pm then.
"haha, cannot lah, have to go back home to study!"i replied.

This is so typical of me to force myself to do things.

Pyscho lecture today. telling us about how impt is sleep...
... and i fell asleep during the lecture for a min or so...

So ok fine, i'll just increase my sleeping time by 1 hr for tonight..

(added on 2009)

Couldnt help it and took a 2 hrs nap just now. AFter eating dinner, i decided to say hi to my neighbours beside. They are from china and are awfully friendly.
Let me write down their names before i forget.
张熠 (yi)
冠博

well, its a good start.

(added on 2244)

The neighbour on the left side is a malay. He came down to say hi and we chatted for another 1.
He didn't mention his name and i'm too lazy to ask. Probably cos he pop out while i was in a mist of concentrating with my text, i don't really have the mood to speak with him...
Nonetheless, its nice to have some visitors coming over to say hi....

I only finished reading 10 pages.... anymore distraction im afraid i'll have to close my door...

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Catching the falling leaves ...[4:13 PM]
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Sunday, May 13, 2007
house warming x happy mother's day
The long awaited hall 6 house warming party has finally come!
jia cai couldn't make it due to some viral stuff which is affecting his entire family, lets hope nothing happens after 28 days...

We played table tennis and i got aquainted with another ntu yr 1 guy. Exchanged phone numbers, hopefully we will be meeting up to play again next week.

Spider man was the other highlight for the day.
I find some parts too fast. In neuroscience perceptive, the screening of the show was too fast for the information to travel from my eyes to my receptors neurons, across the synapse along the pns up to my cns which is my brain to access the information.

The director is sam. I found him amazing to climb up the entertainment ladder from being the director/producer of serial to a movie director. I loved his shows 10 yrs ago... Together with him is his brother who played a funny 2-3 mins role in the movie. Not to forget his friend, bruce campbell, who appeared in the show as well.

Got home at 6 to celebrate mother's day. Though the cake was bought my mother actually...Tot that we would be singing the 'happy mother's day'song as we did last yr, but mother insisted to sing the '世上只有妈妈好’ song and ' 天下的妈妈都是一样地’song...


Just to add on, woke up with a strange feeling of chest being very tight. I'm not surprise if i'll be like those popular cases when people died in their sleep. Perhaps its a reminder to start exercise more...

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Catching the falling leaves ...[7:45 PM]
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Saturday, May 12, 2007
deathly hallows
I dreamt that the words 'deathly hallows' could be rearranged to form another word/s. Hence, spend quite sometime this morning to reshuffle the letters around to form words but of no vaild.
Anyone has any nice combinations?

Had this awfully long conversation with an aquaintance this afternoon, he is now at his 40s and i enjoyed talking to him...


Catching the falling leaves ...[11:40 PM]
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Friday, May 11, 2007
1st week
First thing first.
Just met my room mate, his name is kelvin ang.
He is NOTHING similar to what i've been fearing that i might have for a room mate over the past few months.
I just know it that i'm not that unlucky.

But as many fans rebuked, lets hope i don't scare my room mate away... haha..

Currently, my room is still quite empty. Hence, anyone who wish to donate some doorgift may do so asap to fill up my room.

First week in school was as difficult as expected. Marketing was something í'm still don't know what to expect. The concept was something new, thus it took me quite sometime to read up though i've yet to understand. Alot of catching up to do during this weekend.

Psychology is great! Especially when they are teaching about the parts of the brain. Must really thank ms fong for doing a great job in teaching bio during my sec school days, cos she conveniently added contents from jc and uni into her materials. But i shouldn't be complacent, i'll use all my advantage i have into it.

My room mate is currently studying german, made me having the urge to overload my modules to study it as well. I know i'll do well in it. For now, i'll keep that into consideration.

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Catching the falling leaves ...[10:51 PM]
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Thursday, May 10, 2007
Heart of Music
Never had i been so lost during these past few months until today.

For a long long time, i've been trying my best to avoid telling people that I'm a musician. I'm just too ashamed to admit it. Music is something I've forsaken.
Ever since my very last performance close to 3 yrs ago, I've sealed my instrument and had never touched it since. Since then, i've never dreamed about music anymore.

Today is the SYF central judging. Rushed down via taxi from school to watch it. The performance was marvellous, and it instilled the memories many many years ago when i first had my instrument and the time everything changes. And i met my teacher there as well, i wondered if he could still remember me... ... Seeing all of them inspired me once again.

Deep down i know, no matter how much i missed it or how much i want toget back to it or how it used to be my dream. It will not lead me to the place i want. Somesay that one can only follow A WAY, dire consequence will happen if one tries to follow more. I think, i've already experienced the dire consequence already. (not that i'm blaming on anything).

People say that you think using LANGUAGE, hence your idea and understanding of the world itself is only imitated to LANGUAGE. Thats where music comes in....
....music seems to be the only thing that can make time stop....

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Catching the falling leaves ...[11:41 PM]
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Tuesday, May 08, 2007
hall 6
I knew i will take a long time, hence i didn't have time to say hi and chit chat with zhiwei when i met him during my lunch.

With that, The search for my hall begun at 4pm after my lunch, after my lecture.
I happily took the free shuttle bus and alighted upon seeing the bus stop, hall 7.

Anyone with the right mathematical mind will understand, 6 is just before 7. Nonetheless, there are things that doesn't follow logic and things cannot be explained using science. The friendly china guy told me the place i was looking for was 4-5 bus stops away. Hence, i immediately set off without a third thought.
'Maybe the hall here are 7,8,9,'was my second thought.
Off i waited and boarded the bus and continued down a couple of bus stops.
Until i saw hall 5.
Anyone with the right mathematical (n or u )logical mind will know 6 is just after 5...
But no, hall 1 is after hall5. How's that?
I eventually found my way and started sharing my experience to the staff, whom couldnt help but to laugh and pity me for my tragic experience. Was so cartoon in the way i expressed myself.
AFter adminstration and when i've done checking the room. I reported the defects in chinese. (since my mind is now tuned to chinese mood after my trip)
"the blinds at the left cannot be pulled up, the blinds t the right cannot be released down, the blinds at the centre CAN be pulled up and released down BUT its control rod to open and close the it was broken. In addition, the handle to the window was broken."
Fengshui wise, that room wasn't that good. the main door is facing west. And its just beside the toilet. Whats more, the next few rooms beside are all china people...
Seriously, i need to have a house warming to shoo away all the negative energy from the room... anyone interested to join in this mission?
anyway, my address is Hall 6 blk 33 lvl 2 room 632.
Any stalker who has been dying to find out where i'm living can come visit me at night. Hall more convenient ma.... haha

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Catching the falling leaves ...[7:00 PM]
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Sunday, May 06, 2007
归零出发再了解! restart!
I'll be starting school tomorrow.
Seriously, everything was in a rush especially when i just came back to Singapore yesterday. Did i mention i made a short trip to malaysia yesterday to settle some stuff? but thats another story.
Started reading up on the itinerary on the homework and course outline for the first week.

Search the internet to learn more about the recent Virginia Tech shooting where a korean student went on a rampage and killed more than 30 people in the campus. Relate it to the issue of school violence and aggression, specifically in the context of US (which may in turn highlight why countries like ours are not experiencing the same kind of problem), and try to think of the issue using the various major perspectives of psychology.

I spent the past few hours reading into the incident and realised that to some extent this korean student and i had something in common. Don't worry, that doesn't mean i will go around doing what he did. IT just made me even more thankful to the people who saved me from sinking into such mental state. For sure, i'll have alot to share during tutorial....

From tomorrow onwards, i will not be online (msn and blog) so often anymore. I'll be very focus on the things that are important to me. I have so much to lose.

Finding a better blogskin is much difficult than i thought. When u find a nice picture one, the format is digusting... vice versa. Then CHWAN SOON, who promised me to make a nice nice blogskin was no where to be heard. Therefore, i had to make do with this.

The previous one about under the deep blue sea? I found it suitable for the theme i had during that period, the sea. And it also represented the cleansing of my sins from the past and the suffocating period comparable to drowning i had. Anyway, its over.

I've added a few songs. SHE's supermodel and superstar. In addition to SUn's 2 new released songs.
With renewed confidence, I'm sure i myself can become a supermodel and superstar as well...

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Catching the falling leaves ...[10:40 PM]
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Saturday, May 05, 2007
ENCORE
THE QUEST

I had an adventure. An adventure that dates back exactly 100 years ago... ...

23/04/2007 1330

Reached budget airport at 4am. No matter how 'budget'it claimed to be, it is still singapore. How bad can it be? Other than the forbading unusal roar from the engine and wheels upob taking off and landing, everything was surprisingly above expectation.

Our first stop was the 3 hrs air trip to Guangzhou's Baiyun airport. The Place is not a really fun and friendly place to be in. Already my impression of the people and place were horrible. Probably its due to my cough which is affecting my mood. Seeing the people there made me so irritated. Moreover, my first meal in china was a delicacy, its vegetables were sour and there was no spoon. We had to drink the soup from the metal bowl itself. I repeat, its METAL BOWL. Like those dish which dogs eat with.

I can find peoole jumping straight towards you literally saying,'COME! let me EARN your MONEY!!". Certainly, that is ultimately the main aim of tourism but can't they just express it in a more indirect manner?
Now i'm seating at this super ancient bus terminal where people lined up to buy their bus tickets from the ticket booth and their bus will take off on schedule ( hopefully)

I must say, there are all sorts of people around here. Particularly there are this china tribe wearing a unique costume sitting on the ground and one of them is using a long bamboo pole to balance her numberous baggages on both ends. I really wanted to take out my camera to take some pictures but was afraid that i might become a target. I'm on my guard.

1830
The sky darkened, our journey by bus was much longer then i thought. I've already been traveling for 5 hours on this bus. Initially, the scenary was a novelty that i couldnt help it but to snap some pictures. As i always say,'i dislike traveling as i never really accomplish anything' ... To think i'll be travelling like this tomorrow. Cant wait to get it over and done with.
I felt as if i'm a wondering soul surrounded by strangers from another culture and tongue. The development here is rural... Where's my touchlight when i need one?
The stars will be exceptionally bright i hope.

2100
Try driving on the road without your spectacles.
The 45 mins taxi ride was a trill ride uncalled for. Already there were no streetlights for this place is rural. Visibility is almost 50m. Nonetheless, the driver insists to drive on the phone, smoking and talking. I'm already scare stiff from the way this guy is going. Father, on the other hand was commenting,'Hey! there are a lot of banana trees along the road!".
The fog is closing in, visibility reduced to 1m.... ...

2300
It was dark, we decided to camp for the night. This 'hotel'room is pathetic. 50yuan for the night. meaning s$10. I'm glad that i've insisted in bringing along 2 big bottles of Singapore mineral water and my own towel.

24/04/07
1830
I'm very certain that if by any chance mother is here with us for this, she will definitely break down, freak out and will hate father forever for bringing her along. Till now, I've not eaten anything filling. Dont dare to eat much or should i say the food here doesn't allow me to even swollow. So far, i've only eaten for the sake of politeness and to sustain myself. I was rather surprised that they used bowls as cups for their drinks. They don't mind dropping anything food on the floor (in their house) and theirchickens and dog will be around clearing them instantly.

I suddenly recall how the annoucement was made in the bus terminal ,'do not shit or urinate anywhere in the bus terminal"....

During the morning, I found myself walking along fields and terrences. It was raining heavily then. For a startm i'm certain that i was struck by lightning if not for the umbrella I bought eariler on, I only feel the sharp static on my hand upon the strike.

** Following content during the afternoon and night was censored due to the security reasons**

25/04/07
0030
The frustration of traveling again for another 5 hrs back to guangzhou has taken toll over me.
In addition, I'm tired and hungry. I started venting my frustration on father.
Just reached this better hotel. Lets hope i'll be eating something swollowable for dinner, or should i say the culmulative meals for the past 2 days, later


1000
I'm now on the taxi to the airport.
The driver asked,"what is the time for your flight?"
Father replied,"11am."
The time now is 10am, it takes 1 hr to get to the airport. HE was trying to tell me that all these while he thought that our flight is 11am! YET he made us step out of the hotel at 0945 instead of my stated 9am. TO think he still have the mood to negotiate the price with the driver. Why can't just use the meter?? everybody knows its the most standard pricing. I'm really going to blow

1155
My worries were uncalled for. Eventhough it was raining heavily, 2 roads leading to the airport expressway were blocked by the police and there was traffic jam. We reached the airport with 45 mins to spare. And yes, my flight is 1150, NOT 11am.
For some reasons, we found ourselves having VIP services, with the VIP waiting lounge for us to consume free (and tasty) breakfast...
It will be another 3 hrs flight to beijing. My journey at guangzhou was finally over!


THE TRIP

26/04/07
1935
I found myself writing father's stupid things harder than i thought. Cos by the time i got the chance to write, he had already performed so much of it that i became too numbed to remember exactly what happened
Climbed greatwall today.

28/04/07
1730
By the time we got back to the hotel at the end of the day, i was too tired to write anything. Anyway, yesterday morning, we had moved to novotel xinqiao before proceding to the forbidden city. It is a 4 star hotel (788yuan) so expensive but no breakfast and need to pay for laundry, unlike the $180 hotel we had been sleeping for the past 2 day with only the downside that it is a common bathroom.
Thanks to 'war and beauty'I had a clear picture before hand before entering the forbidden city. Thatwas the only place which seemed civilised with very little people spitting.
Seriously, these people are disgusting..
Today was a leisure shopping trip at wang fu jing. that place was like orchard road. Most of their shopping malls are older than singapre.1920...1950...We chanced upom LAO se's house, seein g him reminded me of my life. His words are inspiring...

29/04/07
1000
gong wang fu was interesting. Never planned of coming here in the first place.
Funny how corrupted officers were remembered and his place itself is now considered as national treasure. I was ripped off once again buying souvenir, nis isnt that the point of being a tourist? Fengshui-- it will work as long as you belief in it.
If there is one personal skill i've improved during their trip. ot will be 'patient'. I told many people that patient is something I've lost. Now, i NEED it more than ever.

01/05/07
2333
Body massage is just so addictive. It is one of the places we frequent so much during the stay in beijijng. Other than toilet and MRT of course. How can anyone resist a relaxing time of massage, especially when there are pretty girls touching you here, here and there? Moreover, its ultra cheap!

I slept for 15 hrs straight yesterday. TO think we only been to the temple of heaven yesterday. The fatiage took its toll over me.
Walking along the streets of lama temple , confusius temple and imperal college, I was highly motivated and even took picture with confusius. pity that they were having reconstruction of the place. Along the way, i suddenly remebered alex and felt like crying.

Father started saying something silly,"rmb the girl in the neighbourhood who always come to our place with the excuse saying she forgot to bring her keys? It make perfect sense! cause she wanted to see you, forgetting the key is just an excuse! She's not bad actually. Why don't consier her?"

02/05/07
1950
Keeping my cool is so much harder than i thought especially when you are at a foreign land with eople you are not used in reading their thoughts. Hence difficult to manipulate. Singaporeans are so much easy to handle. I went back to my room and foun dthat my box of pearl powder was missing! I actually throw my weights around at the reception! And i had to keep on reminding myself.... 'Dont bother doing so, they dont even care in the first place... its just wasting my energy if i throw my weights around"


03/05/07
0900
I was so tired that i fell asleep before writing what i wanted to write yesterday.
With only 2 days left, I feel that money cannot buy opportunities and time. Hence, if by any chance we can do so, just buy it. Thus, we spend money on taxi to travel to our destination for the next 2 days. We were too tired to walk anyway.

The olympic games is just next year. ALl people in beijing know it, but i was surprised to see that quite a significant amount of peole doesn't know the great impact it will cause . Its like slapping them across the face and they don't know what hit them.

1234
Im greatly inspired by LUxun's works. Now im very motivated to read The red mansion dream, Luxun's works. Do you know he address himself as 'L'when writing letter?
Looking at his exhibition, I can't stop wonderingif my tables and chairs and even books im using now will be in exhibition in the future...

1900
After a trip to bell and drum tower. We took a riskshaw ride around the small alle to view the little people. Afterwhich was the last minutre shopping. Let hope i can successfully smuggle my beijing roast duck back singapore. For sure, I'll not be carrying the ugly china bag. Well thats the good thing of being in china, no one (i hope) will stare at you if you use that bag as your luggage. Anyway, my taxi was fined for illegal U-turn. I became awfully generous by paying the fine....

04/05/07
I was wrong when i told myself all china girls look almost the same and i normally dont take a second look at them. Well, ice skating girls are totally different. Just like those on gymastic, they give off that aura of graciousness and elegance which i dont see any during my 2 weeks stay here. I always got a soft spot for such characteristics. Father and i spent almost 1 hr at the ice skating rig observing... Cos our flight was in the afternoon.
Couldn't help smiling (alot) at fellow singaporeans upon boring the SIA plane. For the past 2 weeks, at last i found someone who smiled back or should i say, smile....


Catching the falling leaves ...[1:58 AM]
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